Picture this
A child’s birthday party.
There is excited movement everywhere, as screaming swarms of children chase balloons through the house. Discarded wrapping paper lies aimlessly under a table that is laden with sandwiches, juice, sweets and, of course, a huge cake deliciously covered in thick white icing and tied with a silk bow. Guests are feasting hungrily. There is laughter everywhere.
The doorbell rings, bringing a small girl running enthusiastically to open the door. Her massive pink birthday badge identifies her as the one whose birthday is being celebrated, and upon whom the gifts are being showered. A late arrival stands holding out a colourfully wrapped box. It is eagerly received with squeals of delight and immediately torn open to expose another welcome gift, to be enjoyed as the next focus of jubilant attention.
Few scenes conjure innocent joy more than a child gladly receiving birthday gifts. There seems a timeless delight in a child captivated by recently accepted gifts.
Now picture this:
An elderly adult’s birthday party. It is a very big birthday ending in a ‘0’.
There is awkwardness everywhere, as groups of embarrassed adults try to make small talk. The atmosphere is strained. A number of gifts lie unopened on a table, next to the uneaten birthday cake and largely untouched goodies. No-one feels especially comfortable eating.
There is an elephant in the room.
The elephant in the room is the elderly ‘birthday girl’ who has refused all gifts offered to her: ‘I could not possibly accept this, it is too much’ or ‘I am too old to be getting birthday presents’ or ‘I’m sure you could find another use for this.’ Perhaps worst of all is ‘I’m sure Peter could take this.’ Peter wants to jump out the window. Gifts are returned without being opened, many of them lying forlorn on the table, the guests too self-conscious to disturb them.
The party can’t end too soon. People start making their excuses. Most of the food is uneaten. The birthday girl later lambasts her family for the extravagant stupidity of wasting money on such a nonsense event. What is special about being old? This is an event that will live on in family infamy.
Why is the elderly adult such a rude party pooper? The short answer is pride. Have you known people like that? They hate the idea of being in any way indebted to others, and gifts are viewed not as delights to be accepted and enjoyed, but as obligations to be resisted. To them, a gift is not so much a gift as a wholly unacceptable debt.
I have known people not only to refuse gifts that have been thoughtfully and carefully selected, but if unable to do so at the time they manipulate to return them at a later date. It is both bad mannered and exceptionally hurtful. They just hate the idea that someone has given them something, and much prefer to settle for a grey and prickly joylessness which preserves their perceived independence.
There is an amusing episode of the TV series The Big Bang Theory in which the character Howard Walowiz gets married. If you are unfamiliar with the series it doesn’t matter. Howard marks the occasion by giving gifts to his closest friends. One such friend, Sheldon Cooper, is appalled. He views gifts not as acts of welcome generosity but as the unwelcome foisting of obligations. He insists on somehow repaying Howard. He can’t abide being indebted. He seems unable to accept a gift. Whilst the reaction depicted is extreme, the humour of the episode rests on its observational accuracy. Sheldon eventually manages to calculate the monetary value of the gift and duly hands a wad of notes to Howard. Problem solved. The whole episode of being handed a gift has been no more than a stressful encounter needing to be overcome.
This response, and attitude, goes far beyond gift-giving and gift-receiving. Under the guise of not wishing to accept help (which they typically describe as ‘being a nuisance’) such people are capable of being a menace, and causing frustrating, time-consuming and often expensive trouble for others.
So how are you with gifts? More importantly, how are you with the greatest gift ever given, Jesus Christ? After describing the way so many of his fellow Jews rejected Jesus, the Apostle John writes of those who, instead, welcomed him:
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God
John 1:12
Regarding the gift of Christ, either you are innocently and readily receptive like the child at the birthday party, or you are proudly and stubbornly resisting like the scrooge-like elderly adult. Either you receive the gift of Jesus by faith and find him to be the greatest gift of all, as he brings measureless delight in new life and joy, or you insist on being self-sufficient and, in your pride, you reject him, denying yourself the richness of a life to which you are blind.
When it comes to the gift of Jesus, which scenario describes you? Which birthday party is yours? On that hangs an eternity.
Your minister
Martin Thomson
Presbytery Plan
At its June meeting, the Presbytery agreed a plan which envisages the congregations of St Margaret’s and Trinity being united into one congregation, able to call one minister. That new united congregation would then use the buildings of Trinity Church.
A similar strategy of one church with one minister is envisaged for Kilbirnie and Beith, and the plan hopes these three churches will, in the future, cooperate more with each other.
The Plan has yet to be confirmed by the relevant ‘121’ committees, and may be subject to appeals.
Later in the year, the Presbytery of Ardrossan will unite with many of the Presbyteries south of us to form the Presbytery of the South West. It is expected that this new Presbytery will be responsible for the implementation of such plans, which the General Assembly has instructed should be implemented before the end of 2025.
Thank you from Anne Watters
Anne Watters would like to sincerely thank everyone for the beautiful presents, flowers and cards received on the occasion of her 90th birthday. They were all very much appreciated